Christmas Poems Family:Number1
Like every year for Christmas,
It was time to find the fir;
We drove up to the tree farm
Run by a kindly sir.
No snowflakes were a falling
As we cut our Christmas tree.
The ground was bare; just leaves and grass,
No snow up to the knee.
We pulled it through the wooded lot
And strapped it to the van.
And drove it down the bumpy drive;
To pay the nice "tree man".
The trip home with the kids was quick,
Excitement filled the air,
This meant that Santa soon would be
Paying visit to our lair.
And when the tree was off the roof
I searched hard for the stand.
I found it with a broken leg
Which needed mend by hand.
With luck we found materials
Perfect for this thing.
Some plying here, some bending there,
We built a brand new spring.
This gadget fit in perfectly,
It held the leg in tight.
Now trunk was placed inside the stand,
I strained with all my might.
The evergreen was propped up right
And leveled to a tee.
The ornaments were readied now,
For placing delicately.
The lights were strung; the trinkets hung,
The kids enjoyed themselves.
Like Mrs. Claus and Santa
And three cheerful little elves.
The kids in bed after late night snacks,
We retired to the den.
We recapped all the day's delights
But were rudely startled when...
A crash was heard in yonder room
That threw up such a clatter,
We ran into the living room
to investigate the matter.
And there we found with lights now off,
our masterpiece reclined,
In all of our activities,
It had not been fishing lined.
With cherished bulbs obliterated,
Our pride a little hurt
We pulled it back up into place
and straighten up the skirt.
We strung the line in proper place
Swept up the dirtied floor,
Tomorrow would see it back to shape
and something to adore.
Another year of memories,
But not the standard thrill;
'bout how a tree struggled to go up,
And how it took it's spill.
It was time to find the fir;
We drove up to the tree farm
Run by a kindly sir.
No snowflakes were a falling
As we cut our Christmas tree.
The ground was bare; just leaves and grass,
No snow up to the knee.
We pulled it through the wooded lot
And strapped it to the van.
And drove it down the bumpy drive;
To pay the nice "tree man".
The trip home with the kids was quick,
Excitement filled the air,
This meant that Santa soon would be
Paying visit to our lair.
And when the tree was off the roof
I searched hard for the stand.
I found it with a broken leg
Which needed mend by hand.
With luck we found materials
Perfect for this thing.
Some plying here, some bending there,
We built a brand new spring.
This gadget fit in perfectly,
It held the leg in tight.
Now trunk was placed inside the stand,
I strained with all my might.
The evergreen was propped up right
And leveled to a tee.
The ornaments were readied now,
For placing delicately.
The lights were strung; the trinkets hung,
The kids enjoyed themselves.
Like Mrs. Claus and Santa
And three cheerful little elves.
The kids in bed after late night snacks,
We retired to the den.
We recapped all the day's delights
But were rudely startled when...
A crash was heard in yonder room
That threw up such a clatter,
We ran into the living room
to investigate the matter.
And there we found with lights now off,
our masterpiece reclined,
In all of our activities,
It had not been fishing lined.
With cherished bulbs obliterated,
Our pride a little hurt
We pulled it back up into place
and straighten up the skirt.
We strung the line in proper place
Swept up the dirtied floor,
Tomorrow would see it back to shape
and something to adore.
Another year of memories,
But not the standard thrill;
'bout how a tree struggled to go up,
And how it took it's spill.
Christmas Poems Family:Number2
Christmas is coming!
I hate this time of year.
My shopping takes me ages
And I lose my festive cheer.
The shopping centre's packed
I cannot park my car
The drive in takes me ages
Although it's not that far.
I queue for hours in line
Just so I can pay
It's enough to make me shoplift
Takes the goods and run away.
And now I have to brave it again
Just to pop down to the shops.
I'll be in town for ages!
And I only need some socks!
Oh, the inconvenience of Christmas
I hate this time of year.
My shopping takes me ages
And I lose my festive cheer.
The shopping centre's packed
I cannot park my car
The drive in takes me ages
Although it's not that far.
I queue for hours in line
Just so I can pay
It's enough to make me shoplift
Takes the goods and run away.
And now I have to brave it again
Just to pop down to the shops.
I'll be in town for ages!
And I only need some socks!
Oh, the inconvenience of Christmas
Christmas Poems Family:Number3
I'm going to Google Santa Claus. I'm going to Google him because He does a lot of kinky stuff that common sense forbids. The hat, the sleigh, the biker beard All strike me as a little weird. I want to check him out before I let him near the kids. I'm going to Google Santa Claus. His gay apparel gives me pause. I'll find out what he smokes and if he used to be a dame. I want to know what kind of guy Goes mushing reindeer through the sky. I want to know what Vixen did to earn that kind of name! And so I'll Google old Saint Nick And find out just what makes him tick. I'll search his background thoroughly and learn his every vice. Old Santa's in the hot seat now. He's had it coming anyhow. It's time we knew for certain if he's naughy or he's nice!
